i have decided to start a blog. yes, me vanessa. the one who hates to read and write. my mind is full of thoughts revolving around our latest attempt to grow our family. i started to think "what if i forget all these feelings one day!". i believe what i am feeling needs to be documented and reread in the future. i want my children to know how badly they were desired. i want to remind myself how badly i desired them. who knows, reminding myself of all of this one day in the future might get me through some other rough times.

so, what i am going to do is add in some of my previous journals i have written a few months ago. journals i started so i could document my ivf cycle. i started them, and never finished them...but i will fill in the pieces as i can.

my main reason for starting this blog is to take the reader through our journey of in vitro fertilization

. the ups and the downs, the left and the rights. but eventually, i hope to turn this into a blog about our family and all the great adventures we will be living, and the amazing milestones we will witness as our child(ren) grow.